Pop culture and Autobahn Autobahn – The Band

Everyone knows the Kraftwerk track “Autobahn”, so we can skip that feature. But wait, wasn’t there something else? In his article, Stefan Kloo reveals the legendary and curious history of the band Autobahn. 

MUC: Hey Los Angeles, what comes to mind when you think about the motif of “Autobahn“?

LAX: Oh, Autobahn, that mystical marvel of German engineering that makes the bucket list of every speed demon in the US with the yearning to burn some serious rubber and drive without a tempo limit at least once in their lives?

MUC: Yeah, that Autobahn. But we got the tempo limit covered and it is a romantic and dubious fantasy currently up for debate, again. (Hey, the Autobahn is 8,000 miles long. Seventy percent of it has no posted speed limit, go Ami speed racer, go!)

LAX: Hmmm … I could tell you that there are around 650 miles of freeway across Los Angeles alone or simply explain the difference between a Freeway and a Highway. We could talk about those fantastic fiberglass roadside giants along our Freeways, the stunning art and artifacts in the current “Eyes on the Road” show at the Peterson Automotive Museum, or spills – all kinds of spills that we had on the FWY: oranges, avocados, fish, money, mayonnaise jars, toilet paper, hydrogen peroxide, chickens … The pile-up of overturned Brooke Shields dolls that once caused a snarl on Route 91 is a classic Los Angeles freeway jam story. I could write about how we have six to eight Freeway lanes in each direction and still get stuck in traffic, how quintessential the FWYs are to LA, how much time we spend in our cars, and how everyone seems to be constantly texting and looking at their phones instead of the road and how aggravating that can be. Or we could take a deep dive into the history of redlining and racism in freeway planning and development.

MUC: You can tell any of that in 5,000 Characters?!

LAX: 5,000 only? No way, in that case, behold: Autobahn – the Band!

MUC: You mean Autobahn the Song – by the German electronic music band Kraftwerk, released in 1974 as the title track of their fourth studio album? Notable for its pioneering use of electronic instruments and its thematic exploration of the German highway system, known as the Autobahn? The track that is over 22 minutes long and features repetitive electronic melodies and rhythms that mimic the experience of driving on the Autobahn, interspersed with radio chatter and sound effects, considered one of Kraftwerk’s signature songs and a groundbreaking work in the electronic music genre? That Autobahn?! Everyone knows that piece, Autobahn is legendary.

LAX: No, I mean Autobahn – the Band.

MUC: Say what?

LAX: Autobahn! The kooky techno-pop group comprised of Uli Kunkel and his two bandmates Franz and Dieter. The band released only one album in the late 70s, titled Nagelbett (Nail Bed), Maude Lebowski has a copy in her LP collection. Have you heard it?

MUC: Well, no. Go on …

LA: The group’s musicians, Kunkel, Franz and Dieter were self-claimed practitioners of nihilism, choosing to believe in nothing rather than societal rules or any system of government. While the Band may have been considered avant-garde in their day and circle, their career ultimately took a tragic turn and lost some of its shine due to their later ‘endeavors’. Uli later had a notable stint in porn as Karl Hungus, the cable guy, starring in the Jackie Treehorn Production of Logjammin opposite Bunny Lebowski. “I’m here to fix your cable […]”. The three hapless Autobahn-Germans had turned to petty crime at some point and in the early 90s tried to extort money from Jeffrey Lebowski, the millionaire businessman, claiming that they had kidnapped his wife, Bunny Lebowski. A sequence of misunderstandings thwarted their scheme though, as they confused the Dude with his millionaire counterpart, and when it became clear that Jeffrey Lebowski never paid the ransom to rid himself of his expensive leachy trophy wife, the three still torched the Dude’s car and demanded whatever money he, Walter and Donny had on them because they had cut off Dieter’s girlfriend’s pinky toe by then as proof that they really had Bunny kidnapped and felt entitled to some loot. (Bunny was actually just away in Palm Springs for a few days and had most definitely a part in the shifty plot.) So, that racket went sideways fast, and about the last time we’ve seen them, they were hanging out in Johnie’s Diner on Fairfax, having Lingonberry pancakes. It is rumored on Reddit that Uli Kunkel, who was often considered the criminal mastermind of the band because he had that enforcer ferret/marmot and a sword, ultimately lost his ear for good music and that the band disbanded after their Cut-Off-Your-Johnson Anniversary Tour.

While little is known about Franz, people say that Dieter eventually played Bass for a little-known LA band and the nine-toed girlfriend may be the same singer-songwriter who later won an Academy Award for her song Save Me. Autobahn – the Band, much like Sprockets and Fraktus, these days probably lives on mostly as a nagging memory of a few incorrigible bowling nerds, rather than filling Disney Hall with a performance of their entire catalog. Pity though, that was a band that could have been.

MUC: Yeah, that sounds really dumb, let’s not do that story.

LAX: I’m on it!!