Bernd das Brot  “Crap!” – Cult figure on children's television

The cult figure Bernd the Bread in front of the town hall in Erfurt alongside his children's channel friends Briegel der Busch (left) and Chilli das Schaf (right)
The cult figure Bernd the Bread in front of the town hall in Erfurt alongside his children's channel friends Briegel der Busch (left) and Chilli das Schaf (right) Photo (detail): © picture-alliance/ dpa | Hendrik Schmidt

For more than twenty years, “Bernd das Brot” has appeared on German children's television – usually in a bad mood. No wonder people on social media are asking why children in Germany are allowed to watch something like this. So: Who are we dealing with? Who is this cult figure?

The German language has many words to describe the nature of Bernd – a talking white bread: grumpy, depressed, grumpy, bad-tempered, annoyed, oddball, sourpuss, pessimist or grumbler. Bernd's own favourite word is: ‘crap’. His simple but striking appearance matches his character: he is a beige-brown box with short arms, big hands and feet. The corners of his mouth hang downwards, with bags under his eyes and protruding, helpless to grim-looking eyes.

At first, Bernd doesn't sound like the type of person you would like to spend time with yourself or your children. And yet Bernd das Brot (Bernd the bread) is one of the most popular characters on the children's channel (KiKA). Not only have children been following his goings-on for over twenty years, but the perpetually bad-tempered loaf is also popular with adults. This may be due to the fact that his best-known appearances on television were late in the evening and at night, namely when the regular KiKA programme was over, the children were already asleep, and Bernd was supposed to fill the gap in the night.

But it may also be because Bernd does something that many people find difficult: he expresses his opinion openly and honestly. In Bernd's case, this means that he talks down just about everything. What's more, Bernd is a star against his will. He doesn't push himself into the limelight – on the contrary. Sounds likeable in view of the many people in the television industry who seek attention and glamour with a vengeance.

Bread mix: humour and social criticism

Bernd das Brot may be called an entertainer. Since September 2000, he has had airtime on children's television, which he can use for his special pranks. The puppet is moved by actor Jörg Teichgraeber and spoken in an unmistakably deep, monotone voice. Bernd is usually accompanied by Chilli das Schaf (Chilli the sheep) and Briegel der Busch (Briegel the bush), who drag him into all kinds of adventures against his will. In programmes such as Chili TV, Bravo Bernd and Nachtschleife, fairy tales, TV shows, films and TV series are parodied. Bernd repeatedly expresses his desire to leave the programme.
However, a certain sympathy for the adventurous Chilli and the hyperactive Briegel is still recognisable.

Bernd makes his strangest appearances at night in repetitive night loops. At the beginning, he usually stands in a white room, looking lost and complaining about his life. For example, Bernd started a night loop in 2013 with this lament: “Great, so it's the usual routine again: you're laughing your heads off and I'm all alone in the white hell.” Bernd's attention is then drawn to the world of social media by a computerised voice – thousands of potential friends are waiting for him there. Bernd reluctantly accepts. What follows is a clever and funny social media critique. This and other episodes demonstrate that the show is rightly known and loved for its intelligent and often sarcastic humour.

Kidnapped or freed?

The Sky is the Limit? But not for Bernd. As “Astrobrot”, he flies to the International Space Station ISS. He has already shown his love of music and dance in previous programmes. And Astrobrot also floats through the atmosphere in an astronaut suit to new songs. As if all this wasn't absurd enough, Bernd fans actually had to worry about him in 2009, because: He was abducted. And it was in the ‘real world’. A two metre tall and 125 kilogram figure of Bernd the Bread, which stood in front of the town hall in Erfurt, mysteriously disappeared in January 2009. Many people, especially the children, feared for Bernd's well-being. Others saw the abduction as an act of liberation – at last Bernd would no longer have to work for KIKA against his will. After eleven days, however, the police found Bernd in an abandoned building between Erfurt and Weimar and returned him to his place.

Bernd for Chancellor!

The multi-award-winning television character fits a certain stereotype of Germany. Germans are proud of their bread – it is always the thing that Germans abroad miss the most. And they are also said to have a penchant for grumbling. This means that Bernd the Bread authentically represents a part of Germany. Perhaps Bernd should put himself forward as a future Federal Chancellor. His chances are probably not that bad.