Psychological test Which motorway are you?
Psychological test – Which motorway are you? | Illustration by Koadmo
If you were a section of motorway in Germany, which one would you be? The different parts of Germany have a very diverse character. Where do you fit in best? Answer the questions and find out with our psychological test.
1. What’s your favourite mode of transport?
♦ Sailing dinghy► Chair lift
≈ Steamer
• VW Golf
2. What’s your favourite drink?
♦ Flensburger Pils≈ Kölsch beer
► Rosenheimer Auerbräu beer
• Jägermeister
3. You’re hungry – what do you fancy?
(Vegetarians should skip this question.)≈ Sauerbraten (marinated meat)
► Schweinsbraten (Bavarian roast pork)
• Currywurst (sausage with curry sauce)
♦ Labskaus (Scandinavian meat stew)
4. You’re planning a weekend away. Where would you like to go?
♦ To a Viking village► Up a mountain
≈ To the promenade, where I can meet lots of people
• To a local park, to look at some greenery instead of all the grey
5. Where’s the best place for you to relax?
► On a lake, bobbing up and down in a boat• On the balcony
≈ Cycling along the river bank
♦ With the wind in my hair and the sand between my toes
6. What’s your motto?
≈ Et kütt wie et kütt. (It is what it is.)• Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.
► Schau ma moi, dann seng ma’s scho. (Let’s just have a look, and then we’ll see.)
♦ Watt mutt dat mutt. (What must be, must be.)
7. What music do you play at full volume in the car?
≈ BAP (“Verdamp lang her, verdamp lang”)♦ Hans Albers (“La Paloma, ade”)
• Tokyo Hotel (“Through the monsoon, Just me and you”)
► La Brass Banda (“Heut is a scheena Dog”)
8. Without thinking about it for too long, pick one of the following colours.
♦ Yellow► Blue
• Smoky-grey
≈ Lime green
9. What type of weather makes you feel happy?
• Not too hot, not too cold, not much wind≈ Lovely and warm with a haze
♦ Cool and windy, showers likely
► Blue sky, white clouds, sun shining
Count now your selected symbols and find out the result!
• A2
You’re the A2, the section between Königslutter and Irxleben. History was written on you, because the Helmstedt/Marienborn border crossing lay along your route – that iconic border crossing that anyone heading from East to West Germany and vice versa had to pass through before reunification. Right near you is a magnificent Gothic edifice, the Magdeburg Cathedral. And apart from that? Cars! A few kilometres down the A39, in Wolfsburg, is the VW headquarters. Not only do they make cars here, they also make the VW Currywurst. Anyone not directly employed by VW is guaranteed to be doing something car-related. So your style is going to be industrial grey. You’re the middle of Germany. You only speak authentic High German, dialects are not your bag at all. What music do you like? Think of the lads from Tokyo Hotel, they’re from Magdeburg. Or the Scorpions. They come from Hanover, which isn’t too far away. “Listening to the winds of change” – you know how it goes. You can wash it all down with a Jägermeister, because that’s a local tipple too, from Wolfenbüttel
≈ A555
You are the A555 between Cologne and Bonn. You’re the oldest motorway in Germany. And what can we say – you’re a typically cheerful Rhineland soul! Karneval here I come! Or otherwise any other party will do. The main thing is that you can get Kölsch beer. Tasty and fresh, in 0.2 litre glasses, pardon me “Stangen”, as you call them here. And the waiter, I mean, Köbes, keeps topping up your glass as long as you put a beermat on top. Authentic Rhineland Sauerbraten tastes delicious. It’s been marinated in vinegar for two days. The only question is: does it still taste as good if I tell you that it’s traditionally made of horsemeat? Quick, let’s change the subject. Look around you. Father Rhine isn’t far away. Jump into a little pleasure steamer and cruise down the lazy river to the Loreley rocks, it’s lovely there. You’re humming the Loreley song: “Ich weiß nicht, was soll es bedeuten, dass ich so traurig bin. Ein Märchen aus uralten Zeiten, das geht mir nicht aus dem Sinn.” (I do not know the reason why, To sorrow I’m inclined. A story from the olden days Is preying on my mind.)
♦ A7
Hey, you northern light? You’re the A7 near Flensburg. You’re characterised by a rather stiff breeze! So tempting to stop for lunch in one of the thatched inns. There’s Labskaus for dinner! (an unappetising mush made of beetroot, potato, marinated beef, ed.) and Sauerfleisch (cold pork in slimy aspic with fried potatoes and tartar sauce, ed.). At the weekend you visit the Haithabu Viking settlement. Your terrain is mostly flat, sandy heathland, with only a few small hills. The rapeseed fields are yellow, somewhere beyond them the sea. Heading north you get the feeling of coming to an end. Cuxhaven, Fehmarn, there’s less and less of everything up there, fewer cars, fewer people, that’s it. At some point all that remains is wind, sky and surf. And you sit on a sand dune with a Flensburger Pils, there’s a plop as you open the bottle’s swing-top closure, and you say: … nothing! You are the polar opposite of a chatterbox. Enough said.
► A8
Servus! You’re the A8 between Rosenheim and Traunstein / Siegsdorf. It’s beautiful there – mei, is des schee, as the locals say! Look to your left, there’s the Chiemsee, just a few reeds between you and the lake. On the right are the foothills, that’s where the Alps start. The sun shines on the mountains in the morning. The sky is white and blue. If only there wasn’t so much traffic. So many tourists. And why is there always more traffic driving home than on the way to your holiday destination? Never mind, let’s head to the pub first. There’s Schweinsbraten with two Knödel, or dumplings – probably potato dumplings. Maybe Semmelknödel too – bread dumplings. Or should that be spelled Semmelnknödel? Semmelnknödeln? Let’s ask comedian Karl Valentin. Woas mas? (Who knows.) To help the food go down, you head out onto the lake, rent an electric boat and chill out. Maybe go for a swim in the clear, cool water. The sky’s blue, the Chiemsee is blue and the sound of the motorway can only be heard faintly. The Bavarian cows are joining in. The car horns of the meadow.
