Cherrypicker
Love in the Age of Dating Apps

In her graphic novel debut, Helena Baumeister tells of her experiences with an online date.

By Holger Moos

As if getting to know and love other people wasn’t difficult enough, opportunities to meet in “real life” were few and far between during the contact restrictions of the Covid pandemic. It’s no wonder, then, that online dating platforms like Tinder, Bumble, and Parship experienced a boom during the crisis.

In autumn 2020, comic artist Helena Baumeister installed a dating app on her mobile phone for the first time. After three nonstarters, on her fourth date she met a man she liked from the start. She described her subsequent experiences in her comic book debut oh cupid. The title alludes to both the Roman god Cupid, who, unlike his twin Amor, is the ruler of physical love and desire, and to OkCupid. Online since 2004, it is one of the oldest dating apps on the internet.

Sort, ignore, continue

The story begins when Helena and her fourth, nameless date arrange to go on a bike tour. Helena is quite critical of online dating – after three sobering experiences: “Swipe right or left. Sort, ignore, continue.” Nevertheless, she sets off to meet the stranger. During their bike ride, Helena’s inner thoughts keep slipping in between the small talk, trying to interpret her own behaviour and that of the other person. In the end, it all comes down to the question: should she spend the night with him or not? She decides against it, uncertain whether they will meet a second time.

They do, however, and she spends the night at his place and they have sex. She hopes for more, but he probably only wants non-committal sex – as he already admitted at their first meeting. After three weeks, Helena’s message in the chat is still the last one, “behind it are the two ticks indicating that you saw my message and haven’t replied.”

Baumeister tells of all the ambivalences, of her hopes and embarrassments, her longings, and irritations. She doesn’t gloss over anything. Her drawing style complements this: black and white pencil drawings, scribbly, sketchy, playing with physical proportions. In short, the opposite of pleasing. The unfinished nature of the drawings corresponds with the unfinished nature of the (unfulfilled) love story.

Blackbirds and wet blankets

The wealth of ideas in the drawings is complemented by a big dose of humour. Helena talks and talks during the bicycle tour until – figuratively – her mouth falls out of her face. The story is broken up ironically by two blackbirds who literally observe and comment on the spectacle from a bird’s eye view. “Lord ... what a wet blanket,” one of the blackbirds sneers as Helena shuffles home after spending the night with her date.

Baumeister received the Hamburg Literature Prize for oh cupid (at that time the comic was still called okcupid IV) in the comics category in 2021, before it was published in book form, followed by the 2023 PENG! prize for the best German-language comic at this year’s Munich Comic Festival. For speaker Timur Vermes, it is “not a comic about online dating: but a live report. Right in the middle of things instead of watching from the sidelines. Television makes empty promises, Helena Baumeister makes good on them... Funny, touching, sometimes bittersweet, but always incredibly imaginative.”

Has her online date seen the comic in the meantime? He has, as Baumeister reveals in an interview on Deutschlandfunk. His reaction? “Appreciative and restrained.” No declaration of true love, but at least non-violent communication.