Toshada Uma
To fashion or not to fashion

Toshada Uma wurde in jungen Jahren als Model entdeckt. In ihrem Essay beschreibt sie eine Reise durch die Modewelt, von der Zeit, als sie gescoutet wurde, bis hin zu den Höhen und Tiefen einer Karriere in einer Branche, die sich oft durch ihre rücksichtslose Natur auszeichnet.

Von Toshada Uma

For a person who’s had serious commitment issues regarding an exact career, I have never claimed to be a flagbearer for one; but perhaps, a little over a decade of navigating the fashion industry gives one insight into a thing or two.

A word on my initiation

Sounds cult-y, I know, but what is the fashion industry if not a cult; except we swap out a “higher order” for a glamorous(ish) lifestyle, for affirmation of our creative genius, for a TOUCH up on our learned narcissism. I have always been headstrong, much to the annoyance of many peers, and I grew up wanting two things: a career in the performing arts and a qualification in psychology. Fashion, although never a field that crossed my mind. That changed when a prominent photographer in the Indian fashion industry scouted me as a model (I’m not naming names because we’ve since had a falling out, as one does in the show biz). I outright denied the offer because I was convinced I was going to be trafficked. I’d never seen a model my height before (for context I’m 4’9” tall, that’s about 144cms for my non-Indian audience)! But what does a teenager want more than social acceptance and the attention of their crush? POCKET MONEY! I was 15, and that was motivation enough for me to give modelling a shot despite my apprehensions. Much to my surprise, this little decision completely changed the course of my life. Shortly after I was scouted, I was shooting for some of the biggest names in the global fashion industry, flying out constantly. I was on the cover of a magazine for god’s sake! I was hanging out at palaces in the presence of designers and stars I’d only ever read about. It was all very surreal. A young Toshada growing up in a 400 sq ft apartment in Borivali never even dreamt that this was possible, but that’s the bit about dreams, they row with you.

Stand out/ Stand in

There were not many things I knew about fashion apart from the fact that I wanted the aforementioned pocket money when I first started out. I soon learned that I was an anomaly in my line of work. It wasn’t just that I had not seen a model like me before; I truly was the first model my height on the runway IN THE WORLD, let alone with visible alopecia. This realization made it evident that I now held some power to bring about change, to truly create the representation I’d never seen. One thing became clear early on: just having edgy looks or bagging castings would simply not cut it when it came to having a long-term career. I had to hone my personality and learn the skills required to work in fashion. The biggest skill being patience – I’ve always said that a model’s job is less to model and more to wait. We wait for hours at castings, we wait for our big break, we wait for the set to be ready, we wait for our turn in the makeup chair, we wait for our payments. It didn’t matter how early or late into our career we were (unless we had a fashion fairy godmother, AKA being a Nepo baby); we HAD to wait. There is a sense of comfort and belonging in knowing that we were all in this together.

To fashion or not to fashion

A genuine dilemma I can’t help but believe every (somewhat) successful individual in fashion faces. We all know that our jobs are not essential, at least not in the way a doctor or scientist contributes to society, yet like a struggling addict, we find ways to stay and sustain in the business. Not to spit in the face of the arts, I make a living from this ecosystem too, but to be selfaware; not to say that we don’t work hard either, god be my witness – nobody works a more thankless, erratic-hour job than a fashion aspirant scorned. We all know of the flaws, the manipulation, the treachery but above all the terrible payment clauses; yet, the moment we find a twinge of commercial success, critical attention we forget the roots of our struggles and our odes to changing the landscape. Such is comfort.

I think I paint a rather grim picture of our jobs, but it is not without its glory moments. Success in fashion truly feels like conquering Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, not in one swift jump nonetheless a battle won. The view from atop the pyramid is breath-taking, and the ones that know it, know it.

Coins in a wishing well

There are millions of people in the fauna of fashion, and many more that are waiting for their big break. We all at some points wish for a thing or two, here are some of mine in the millions of wishes, not for myself but for the coming wave of young creatives:

Fair labour laws for fashion creatives with minimum wages, employee protection, and the whole shebang in place. More inclusivity and diversity; yes, designers and casting directors, I’m looking at you. Hiring two plus-sized models and one petite model just doesn’t cut it anymore. People want to see more; people want to see us! Sustainable development. Call this my Gen-Z mentality, but hey, I don’t want the world to collapse in the next couple of generations. How will people of the future know of the legacy I’m trying to leave behind if no one exists? A sip from the fountain of youth (Okay, this one might be for me; my body hurts from walking 10k+ steps in heels every fashion week).

For love and caution

Dream big, work harder, and most importantly, know when to quit. Motivational gurus won’t tell you this because it won’t sell their 10-step course to becoming a successful model, but just because you want it does not mean you can have it. Fashion is an industry that has to choose you more than you choosing fashion. This doesn’t mean you can’t make or practice your art; this simply means that you need to find tangible monetary resources while you do. I live true by this; I ventured into Public Relations and creative direction at the age of 18. At 25, people actually take my opinion serious(ish)ly at work, something I could not boast of as a young model. I still model; I just knew the modelling career might have a deadline and wanted to have an exit plan in place, just in case. Discuss your pay with your peers; you may be grossly underpaid or you may end up helping a friend with theirs. Industry standards truly vary. I can’t stress this enough. Know that fashion is a job at the end of the day; nobody owes you gratification, and you don’t owe anybody any either. Your boundaries are yours to set and keep; trust your instinct with them. And finally, be true to yourself and have fun. Generic, I know, but hey, it rings true!

Love,
Toshada